YOU’RE SUCH AN ASSHOLE

scott evridge. my buddy. my friend. you fucking dick.

i’ve known you since we were like 14 years old. you were that guy a year older in high school that had the crappy little dragon tattoo. that was so fucking cool. rad, if you will. we had a lot of good times. i remember the first time i ate shrooms throwing up out back of the silver fox’s house. i remember when ed walsh got wasted at one of your parties and put all of your furniture on the front lawn. i remember when you licked that tarantula.

we partied when we were younger. most of the time you have friends in high school, you party, you hang out, you go your seperate ways when you graduate. i’m not even sure if you graduated. those days are a bit blurry. i’m sure they were blurry for you too. we used to smoke a LOT of weed.

but either way, we stayed friends. after losing contact with almost every person i knew back then, we still saw each other. down to when i tattooed you a couple months ago, or you helped me move in, or when you watched capone for a few days when i went out of town, or when you came over for fajitas. whatever. you remained one of my only old school friends. DFL.

so what was it that sent you over? you fucking asshole. i’ve known you for 15 years. 15 years and you couldn’t reach out and talk to me. 15 years and now i don’t get to say goodbye to you. i was going to have you over for a steak soon. you know i cook that shit bangin, son! we were supposed to cook some ribs this summer. my new daughter was supposed to meet you when she comes home.

do you remember when we ate all of that acid in meghan’s woods and you got stuck in the stickerbushes? karl was all drunk “you’re the gnome that drinks the goldenschlager! you’re going to burn down the north pole!” do you remember that shit? you got set on fire. funniest shit ever.

or how about the time we thought somebody planted crops out in the dike? we wandered through all of that shit for hours and couldn’t tell where we were going. my allergies acted up and i could barely see and i thought my throat was going to swell shut.

goddamn. i remmber when that 7 foot albino redtail you had escaped into your bedroom and you just lef the door shut. that fucker was mean. you had to go find him in the dark. you shined the flashlight on him and tried to grab him. he bit the shit out of your hand. funniest shit ever. that snake’s head was like the size of a grapefruit.

i have a lot of stories with you. you were one of my best friends. i know you had a rough time, but i always thought you were a soldier. i never knew how much pain you were hiding from me. i love you, buddy. i’m going to miss you like nobody’s business. i hope that whatever it was that eluded you in life, you will be able to find in death. as much as i love you, and as much as i’ll miss you, i still want to call you an asshole.

RIP scott evridge. i’m going to miss you, friend.

17 March 2008 | Blog | Comments